Chapter 016: His Majesty Dresses in Women's Attire
Incognito visit!
Wei Wanlan rubbed his hands in the sleeves of the dragon robe: "So shall we start now? Can I choose the place to visit privately? Will we take a carriage or walk? Can I go without an escort?"
The rapid-fire questions showed Wei Wanlan's mind was already far from the palace.
The system did not spare him the blow: 【There is still important business you must attend to.】
Important business?
The hand-rubbing motion stopped.
【The Regent is not dead yet, the Tianlu Pavilion was destroyed, and the Jingui was damaged. You must find another way to obtain his birthday details. The court has lost the trail, so you must go outside.】
Wei Wanlan drooped his head: "So you're just making me complete the task in a different location, aren't you?"
【While others still slumber by the couch, the Regent lives. Please continue your efforts.】
"But he's already given up on usurping the throne, right?" Wei Wanlan didn't understand, "He even brought me out of the Tianlu Pavilion, which would have been the perfect chance to kill me."
【No.】 404 analyzed from a professional perspective, 【I guess when you electrocuted him, he thought he had incurred the Heavenly Punishment for usurping the true Dragon Emperor, so he temporarily postponed his rebellion and spared you.】
Wei Wanlan was impressed, not having thought of such nuances himself. The system was truly capable.
In the afternoon, at the Zichen Palace.
The Jinwu Guard on duty reported: "Your Majesty, as per tradition, the Diligent Princess Wanyi has come to pay her respects."
This was a new figure, neither a high official nor a foreign guest, and seemed to have some relation to him: "Who is the Diligent Princess, and what is she like?"
【Princess Wanyi, your elder sister, loves martial arts and extravagance. Her husband died early, and she has remained a widow, five years your senior.】
The system summarized concisely.
Wei Wanlan couldn't digest all this information, but a vivid image of a flamboyant figure formed in his mind: "Does she have something to do with the mission?"
【Yes.】 The system said, 【The Diligent Princess Wanyi comes to see you every month, and each time, you end up feeling quite unwell, symptoms including excessive blood loss and bodily weakness.】
"Are you sure she's my elder sister and not just my monthly visitor?" Wei Wanlan recalled a day in high school when he was in so much pain he had to ask a classmate to bring him hot water.
The system: 【...】
Decided not to comment on Wei Wanlan's idiotic thought process.
The system began describing the mission: 【Princess Wanyi finds you not imposing enough, so she requests martial arts instructors from the Ministry of War each month to train you. You and the people around you must change from dragon robes to battle attire - this is a good chance to go out incognito.】
"What do you mean?" He didn't quite understand.
【Dress in the attire of the martial arts instructors, and take their Ministry of War passes. Only by disguising yourself as one of Su Jingzhi's subordinates can you slip past the watchful eyes of the court.】
This was clear enough, Wei Wanlan understood.
"The Princess has arrived—"
With An Ruyi's announcement, the Zichen Palace instantly came alive. Dozens of martial arts instructors and over twenty palace maids escorted an elegant, beautiful noblewoman in, her fragrance and laughter preceding her arrival.
Wei Wanlan took in the sight of her.
The noblewoman had her hair piled high in an elaborate bun, adorned with gold and jade ornaments. She walked with great presence, her step jeweled pendants swaying. Her complexion was as white as frost, but her lips were as red as cinnabar, strikingly beautiful.
Exactly the formidable figure he had imagined. Wei Wanlan felt a little unsteady on the dragon throne.
Princess Wanyi let out a fierce shout: "—Still so skinny!!!"
Wei Wanlan jolted to his feet, his small face almost tearing up: "H-How can being skinny be wrong QAQ?"
"As the ruler of the Great Wei, you represent the nation's image. If you are as frail as a chicken, how can you awe the ministers!?"
"Then I, I'm really sorry to disappoint Great Wei."
"Change it!" The Princess grabbed Wei Wanlan from the waist to the arms, then looked at his mouth, seemingly unsatisfied with every part of him, "Martial arts instructors, take His Majesty to change clothes. We'll practice martial arts in front of the Zichen Palace. Today, none of you are allowed to return until you've given him two muscles!"
"Yes!"
The martial arts instructors responded in booming voices.
***
In the changing room.
An Ruyi had already prepared a set of snow-white, gold-embroidered dragon robes: "This servant will help His Majesty change."
【Act.】
"An Gong Gong, I need to go relieve myself."
An Ruyi's hand holding the battle attire paused: "Going out is not permitted, I must report to the Prince."
"I mean the small one, the small one." Wei Wanlan gestured with his mouth in a forward motion.
An Ruyi understood: "Alright, this servant will assist you..."
"No need, I'm a bit embarrassed." To be honest, the attitude of the palace servants towards him was the most difficult to adapt to since becoming Emperor in this ancient era. They seemed to treat him as completely incapable, "I'll be right back."
Wei Wanlan assured.
As long as the Emperor's orders did not violate the Regent's established policies, he had no need to defy them.
An Ruyi bowed and took his leave: "Then this servant will take his leave."
"Okay, okay." Wei Wanlan nodded.
Once the door closed, he jumped out the window, following his memory to find the maids' changing room in the Zichen Palace. Pressing his ear against the door, he caught the voices inside:
"Today's lesson is archery on horseback, everyone make sure your bracers and pant legs are securely tied. If His Majesty falls off the horse, you'll all be in big trouble!"
"Got it, big bro. In the past, His Majesty couldn't even mount the horse, so if he actually falls off this time, it'd be progress."
"Ha, hahaha, you brat, shut your mouth!"
The laughter of the martial arts instructors echoed.
Wei Wanlan puffed out his cheeks, feeling mocked again. But his slow-to-anger self hadn't even fully gotten upset yet when the changing room door opened, the prepared martial arts instructors striding towards the training ground one by one.
The last one was still busy securing his bindings.
Wei Wanlan lurked behind the door, watching him intently.
The system: 【Here's some dizzying incense for you. Poke a hole in the paper, knock him out.】
"Okay."
Wei Wanlan summoned a lit stick of dizzying incense in his hand.
But at that moment, the system seemed to realize something, its tone suddenly turning shrill and nearly forming a single continuous line:
【Quick, quick, quick!!! Hurry, hurry, hurry!!!】
Wei Wanlan covered one ear, feeling like it was about to be deafened by the yelling. The glowing ember of the incense stick touched the paper screen, the incense hissing as it penetrated:
"Mmh... Why are you yelling at me?"
【—I'm afraid you'll knock yourself out!!!】
Wei Wanlan: The basic trust between human and system was lost.
Through the papered screen, he heard a thud from the room.
The martial arts instructor's body collapsed to the floor, success. Wei Wanlan was secretly delighted, about to enter.
The system shrieked in his ear again: 【Don't move, first ventilate the room, open the windows, cover your mouth, hold your breath!】
"...Okay."
He seemed to have lost their trust. Wei Wanlan's small face looked aggrieved.
The changing room was filled with the scent of leather and sweat. Approaching the fallen martial arts instructor, this man was tall and burly, his beard thick. Lying there, he resembled a mountain.
【Get to work.】
Wei Wanlan went to tug at the instructor's clothes.
But they wouldn't budge, tightly bound by the bracers. He tried to undo the leather cords, but the knots were too tight, his fingernails hurting from trying to pick them apart. He then tried to pull off the boots, but couldn't get them off, and attempted to leverage one of the legs, to no avail, the leg was just too heavy.
After a flurry of frantic attempts, the results were zero.
Wei Wanlan panted, the clothes still not removed, and he ended up collapsing in exhaustion. This man's physique was too formidable, beyond his ability to handle easily.
"Uwah, I can't pull them off." Wei Wanlan sought help, "My hands hurt QAQ."
The system sighed: 【Host, after we kill the Regent, you should keep practicing martial arts. For now, go take the instructor's pass.】
Oh right, the pass could be taken first.
Wei Wanlan nodded, reaching to the instructor's waist, feeling around for the pass. His fingertips touched a hard metal object, grasping it and pulling it out - a gleaming silver pass.
The front was engraved with the words "Ministry of War of the Great Wei".
The side had two lines of smaller characters, the name, identity and affiliation of the holder. Wei Wanlan guessed the gist of it, and felt the pass was quite heavy. He flipped it over. His eyes were instantly pierced by the huge character on the back: "Death".
—"The loss or lending of this pass warrants immediate execution."
Wei Wanlan's pale fingers gently traced those engraved words, clearly hearing the quickening of his own heartbeat: The Ministry of War's affairs were so crucial, the pass so important. If he took this pass, the man would be sentenced to death.
The system urged: 【Got the pass? Quick, change clothes.】
"Okay, okay."
He knew how strict Su Jingzhi's military laws were. It seemed he'd have to find another way to sneak out of the palace.
Just then, his gaze landed on the adjacent room - the maids' changing area, the girlish laughter growing fainter.
Wei Wanlan's pupils brightened a bit, a new idea forming in his mind. He walked from the men's changing room to the women's, lightly knocking on the door, confirming no one responded, and pushed the door open a crack.
Creeak—
The scent of powder and perfume wafted over. The room was empty and clean.
The wardrobe neatly held dozens of identical golden-yellow dresses, and a tall bronze mirror stood in the corner, with a cosmetic box beside it, containing powders, rouge, fragrances, and mother-of-pearl accessories.
Seeing these items, Wei Wanlan's lips curled in a small smile: Perfect, ancient-style cosplay cross-dressing, right up his alley.
So in no time at all, he had himself fully made up, his pale face becoming even more ethereal. He shed the dragon robe and donned a dress, selecting the most suitable one. He applied fragrant ointments and pinned on the pearl hairpins, the whole ensemble complete.
And so the bronze mirror reflected a maid-like figure.
Graceful in form, slim-waisted, with all the right curves in place, Wei Wanlan turned before the mirror, giving himself a little wave.
But something was still missing...
He stood before the bronze mirror, feeling the look lacked a certain visual impact. His gaze swept the room, spotting the tea set and ceramic bowls. Grabbing two bowls, he squeezed them into his front, creating the desired effect.
Perfect.
Blending into the throng of Princess Wanyi's countless maids like this, the risk would be far lower than taking the martial arts instructor's Ministry of War pass.
Wei Wanlan tidied up the wardrobe, feeling he had eliminated the last possibility of being discovered, then gathered his skirts and happily slipped away.
"Time for an incognito visit~"
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