Chapter 037: Collecting the Birth Dates and Times
"Please, young madam."
The guard guiding the way urged Wei Wanlan forward. In the meantime, he hadn't had a chance to switch back into his dragon robe.
He was as puffed up as a ballooning pufferfish, bristling all over, his belly swelling as if it was about to burst.
The Regent must have known the emperor was in his mansion the moment he woke up.
Yet this man deliberately made him meet while dressed in women’s clothes—on purpose.
He just wanted to humiliate him, to ruin his image!
In his mind, Wei Wanlan screamed countless times: "The Regent is a big bad guy!"
Dressed in a skirt, he had already reached the door of the study. An Ruyi wasn’t outside, only Tang Tuan was standing guard. Tang Tuan took one careful look and immediately recognized the little emperor, exclaiming in surprise:
"Your Majes—"
He can't recognize me as the emperor, or I'll lose all my face.
Wei Wanlan threw a pleading glance at Deputy General Tang: QAQ
Tang Tuan smoothly changed his words: "Your Majes... I must ensure that anyone meeting the Regent poses no threat. Please lift your sleeves and spin around."
What a master of public relations.
Wei Wanlan obediently lifted his sleeves, revealing wrists as pale as frost and snow. He spun in a circle, the yellow skirt blooming like a flower.
"Please enter."
"Alright."
Upon entering the room, he saw the diligent Regent of Great Wei reading memorials again. A few fallen petals from a Qingjia breeze scattered over the documents.
Today, Su Jingzhi wasn’t wearing his usual black attire. Instead, he wore a plain white robe, with no gold or silver embellishments. Since he was recovering at home in the mansion, his hair was loosely tied up, and the stray strands softened the sharpness of his features, giving him a serene, elegant demeanor.
Wei Wanlan's gaze fell on the Regent’s fingers, flipping through the memorials. Even though the skin on his palms was rough and calloused, the backs of his hands were as smooth as jade.
Wei Wanlan had never seen the Regent like this before. Instinctively, he opened his lips, about to say something in concern.
But then Su Jingzhi spoke first without even looking up:
"Pour some tea."
"!!!"
Wei Wanlan’s small claws itched, and his teeth were about to show.
Any remnants of gratitude or guilt he still harbored before coming to the mansion had been utterly wiped out by just these two words from Su Jingzhi.
But what could Wei Wanlan do?
He had no choice but to force a sweet smile, walk over, and pick up the purple clay teapot. He poured a cup of tea for Su Jingzhi, the tea leaves swirling with the flow of water. "My lord, please enjoy your tea."
Su Jingzhi picked up the cup, skimmed off the foam, and took a sip, neither showing satisfaction nor dissatisfaction. Then, from the pile of memorials, he slowly drew out an exceptionally elegant one and placed it in front of Wei Wanlan.
Wei Wanlan looked closely. Some of the characters he could recognize:
"Is this the sentencing standard decided after yesterday’s court meeting?"
"It’s a draft."
He handed the memorial over. Wei Wanlan scanned the characters, feeling that the handwriting was so graceful it cleared his mind. He nodded in agreement.
"Bring it back when you’re done," Su Jingzhi extended his hand.
Hastily, Wei Wanlan returned the memorial to the villain, obedient like a little puppet: "Oh."
"What do you think?" Su Jingzhi asked. "Can it be implemented?"
"Uh?"
Completely caught off guard by the villain seeking his opinion, Wei Wanlan’s heart skipped a beat. In a panic, he sought help from the system, like a student being called on in class.
404—
No response. The system was on vacation too.
Not wanting to admit he had just admired the handwriting, Wei Wanlan struggled to save face, stammering:
"I think... it’s all good. My lord, you can review it again and then implement it."
If there’s a mistake, it’ll be on you, the one who reviewed it.
Su Jingzhi raised his gaze slightly and saw Wei Wanlan’s flushed face. "Did you only appreciate the calligraphy?"
"No, no, no!" Wei Wanlan hurriedly denied it.
Despite his earnest words, the tips of his ears turned bright red, his embarrassment fully visible to Su Jingzhi. The Regent took another sip of tea and resumed his work, as the conversation had been effectively killed by the little fool.
Wei Wanlan was also at a loss, fearing he had upset the great villain. He moved closer to make amends, placing his small hands on the Regent’s shoulders. Even though he knew they were hard and uncomfortable, he earnestly began to knead them:
"Let me give you a massage, my lord?"
"I only called you in to avoid embarrassing the court. Now the maid is acting like she’s in character?"
Wei Wanlan spoke even more obediently, though he was sure Su Jingzhi wanted to see him make a fool of himself. Still, he stood at attention and said:
"—I serve you, my lord, from the bottom of my heart."
Out of the corner of his eye, Su Jingzhi could see the tips of the little emperor’s fingers. Wei Wanlan, behind the Regent, was gripping his shoulders tightly, using all his strength to shake him.
However, he couldn’t move him. His fingertips were starting to ache, and Su Jingzhi could hear Wei Wanlan’s soft breaths and light panting. Unbeknownst to him, Su Jingzhi’s lips curved slightly.
But then, everything went dark.
The Regent of Great Wei, mid-stroke with his writing hand, suddenly paused in mid-air. The red brush trembled at its tip, and the stroke flew off in an erratic direction, as if a bloodstain had torn through the memorial.
Su Jingzhi remained silent for a moment at this unexpected turn.
"......"
This was the second time he’d experienced this: sudden blindness.
The last time had been during the coup on Zhuque Street. Su Jingzhi had attempted to deflect an arrow aimed at him but had lost his vision and was hit instead.
Irritation surged through him, and Su Jingzhi clenched his teeth.
But his reaction startled Wei Wanlan, who thought he had further angered the villain:
"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Regent. I didn’t mean to," Wei Wanlan stammered, his voice trembling. His fingers lightly tapped the Regent’s shoulder, like a small animal testing the waters. "Did I touch your wound?"
The little emperor’s voice was soft, laced with sincere apology, so tender it could be squeezed for water.
If under other circumstances, he could still treat the Regent as an enemy, this time, Su Jingzhi had saved him when he was injured. Wei Wanlan remembered his kindness.
"Let me rub it for you. Be good, it won’t hurt..."
The little emperor earnestly tried to soothe the villain.
Half-hugging Su Jingzhi from behind, Wei Wanlan traced the area of the arrow wound in his memory, gently massaging over the spot through the white robe. The soft rustling of fabric filled the study.
But the little emperor wasn’t very good at comforting. Treating Su Jingzhi like an oversized doll, he followed the Regent’s hand movements, placing his small, warm paw over his hand as Su Jingzhi rubbed his brow.
"Bear with it, it’ll pass soon."
Su Jingzhi’s vision slowly began to return, as Wei Wanlan’s soft words of comfort washed over him.
The light gradually came back into focus.
He could see the desk, the memorial, the falling plum blossoms. And the delicate fingers of Wei Wanlan, illuminated by the light, along with his sweet, palace-scented little figure.
Su Jingzhi felt a faint flutter in his chest, a tingling sensation spreading. He suppressed the fleeting moment of unease and changed the subject:
"Wearing this... were you looking for Yun Niang?"
"Uh, yes." Wei Wanlan obediently answered. "We haven’t seen each other in a while." His hand stopped rubbing Su Jingzhi’s forehead but continued massaging his back.
"It’s only been two days. You can’t get her out of your mind? You must have something to ask her."
Wei Wanlan froze, his heart suddenly jumping into his throat.
"I..."
I haven’t even mentioned anything about asking Yun Niang for information!!!
His expression grew panicked, his eyes darting nervously. He was a terrible liar, his thoughts written all over his face.
This only confirmed Su Jingzhi’s suspicions, and he took his guess a step further.
"You spend time with her in disguise, making it easier to extract information. The only valuable information she has would be about me. Does His Majesty want to inquire about my affairs?"
Wei Wanlan’s heart nearly leapt out of his chest.
He’s too scary! QAQ—
Wei Wanlan was completely dumbfounded, his breathing quickening. Now he was utterly panicked. How could he be so clever? There was no way to win against someone like him!
And yet the villain wasn’t done showing off his insight.
Su Jingzhi continued in a low voice: "Yun Niang doesn’t know anything about court matters. The only things she knows about me are private matters: my tastes, my childhood stories... I don’t spend much time with her."
Wei Wanlan swallowed hard.
He believed in Su Jingzhi’s ability to deduce what he was trying to find out. Eventually, he would figure out that Wei Wanlan was trying to use black magic against him, and his murderous intent would be exposed.
Sure enough, Su Jingzhi’s eyes flickered.
In a brief moment, he ruled out a few unlikely options. He didn’t believe the little emperor would inquire about trivial matters. His voice softened as he speculated: "I believe you want to know—"
"Don’t say it, Regent!"
The unfinished words hung in the air.
Wei Wanlan, like a cat, pounced forward, both arms wrapping around Su Jingzhi’s neck, his hand shooting up to cover the Regent’s mouth. The action to physically silence him came before he even realized his own intentions. He was terrified Su Jingzhi would expose the truth.
But now, there was no going back. He realized he was hugging the Regent, and worse, he had buried the Regent’s noble nose into the fake chest he’d padded with two handkerchiefs.
QAQQAQQAQ...
"Wei... Wan... Lan."
His face instantly turned beet red, his mind buzzing.
—The Regent must now know he was hiding something. A big secret, a dangerous secret, the kind that, if revealed, would lead to his immediate downfall.
What do I do...
What do I do...
I need a rescue!!!
Wei Wanlan quickly let go, no longer daring to touch Su Jingzhi. In his haste to retreat, he tripped over the leg of Su Jingzhi’s chair and fell flat on his bottom, hitting the floor with a loud thud.
"Ugh... Waaaah."
This time, the tears were from fear, from being overwhelmed. They were real, messy, and mixed with panic and confusion. He didn’t hold anything back, turning into a little crying ball right in front of Su Jingzhi.
His makeup was smeared all over his face, and his lips trembled: "Please, can you stop asking? QAQ..."
"Then tell me yourself. What exactly do you want to ask her? If your explanation is reasonable, I’ll let it go."
Su Jingzhi didn’t help him up, his gaze slightly condescending.
Wei Wanlan didn’t dare answer truthfully, but alarms were blaring in his mind. He had to say something, though his brain was blank. He wasn’t good at making up stories:
"I... had a dream." He decided to start with a dream. "I dreamt I stood before the altar on the sacred mountain, and a divine messenger spoke to me."
"What did the messenger say?" Su Jingzhi asked.
"The messenger said..." Wei Wanlan hesitated for a moment, his slow brain working at full speed. But the excuse he came up with was so bad that even he found it hard to believe: "If, at the exact time of your birth, I went to the altar in my dream and prayed, the gods would cure you of your loss of taste. So, I wanted to ask Aunt Yun for your birth time."
It was a half-truth, but Wei Wanlan felt incredibly guilty. There couldn’t be a more far-fetched excuse than this, could there?
Wei Wanlan swallowed nervously.
Gulp.
What if the Regent didn’t believe him?
What if the Regent suspected black magic?
What if the Regent wanted to kill him right now?
A thousand bad thoughts raced through his mind.
Wei Wanlan squeezed his eyes shut.
But to his surprise, Su Jingzhi said:
"I was born at the third quarter of the noon hour."
"?"
Wei Wanlan opened his tightly shut eyes. He hadn’t expected that the Regent’s birth date—the last and most difficult piece of information to obtain—would be... given to him by Su Jingzhi himself.
And in such a casual tone.
Even though he had made up such a terrible excuse.
Wei Wanlan’s lips trembled.
The fear and anxiety that had built up dissipated.
He felt a moment of excitement at having completed his goal, but there was also a strange, indescribable feeling.
His throat tightened, and a heavy weight settled in his chest.
[—The twenty-third day of the twelfth month, in the year of Jiazi, at the third quarter of the noon hour. Two days from now.]
At that moment, 404, which had been silent for a while, suddenly burst out with excitement, its voice full of joy.
The Wise Emperor Development System chimed in his mind, dinging and donging:
[Host is about to complete the first task! Host is about to complete the task! Reward: A Grand Fireworks Celebration!!!]
404 was so ecstatic it was about to explode:
[Host, leave the mansion immediately. We’ll use the black magic spell. The Regent will die. You’ve won, you’ve succeeded!!!]
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